“That picture explains it perfectly
Look at how happy i seem?
Where am i in between?
What am i looking up and seeing?
Looking up at and beaming?
Looking up to, and feeling, and grinning
There was nothing that day
The convo even skipped the other way
But it was still some sort of happy place”—lahlia
“I’m sick of being alone
But though i want it
Funnily enough not full blown
That’s why i’m so happy to take it slow
Let it grow
Or almost come to blows
Just nice and easy
See where it goes
Or, not. Consider it dropped.
If it’s not what you wanted, why you shoppin’ in the shop?”—lahlia
I just wanted play… and ride… and sing… and hang…
No fucking bif, boof, bam
Who’d ya think i am?
Ya got it all wrong jan.
Aint my plan.
And i was such a fan…
I had already taken a back step.
I had never really taken it forward one
Well only slightly to start„ some„
I was never really led to believe in such
I was just taking it in, back of the bike rush
And look where the road led again.
Fuck i always knew it as much.
Never pushed any buttons
Didn’t think they’d work if i did
No matter what my heart wanted from it.
Knew you’d turn blue.
I just had to believe in you.
And want it, one way or another to give in
And just as i thought luck hit„ you split..
rode to elizas„, finally„ to help her choose the final tracks to be added to her ep which gets mastered today. got down to 7 mastered„ to choose maybe only five to go on. chose the pics for the ep casing. chose the title. we even discussed the font in which she should use to print„ and the colour of the actual CD. i feel pretty special to be included and respected enough for her to need my opinion so much. she even said she may thank me in the credits! awww you don’t have to lizey but that’s super sweet. Xx
from lizes„ jumped back on the bike to head to, so far, my favourite spot on the bay. a good spot where i can ride the bike almost right up to the sand so i can see the pretty thing. there’s change rooms. toilets. and more importantly those outdoor showers! :D i can even lock up my bag against the benches. freaking rad. and the waves were actually massive for the bay cos it was so damn windy. so it made for a fun dip.
from there twas back home„, dump the bike„ jump in a cab and head to a street party in fairfield. beer, cider, cricket, yabby races, thongs, bikinis and bbqs. how aussie! had a major jam out too. BIGGEST ever. i played drums AND bass AND surrounded myself with five types of djembes, hand drums and bongos to have a massive percussion session. this was in front of like 12 odd people. my biggest crowd yet :P to hear discussion around the room of whispers “she’s talented” made me feel pretty special. thanks kids. i may seem confident but those words mean the world.
330am after a long stagger home… a munch out„, then pass out.. ugh, minimal sleep before work.
so„, me and him are kinda getting back to normal. even a sweet message today just to see how i’m doing and whats been going on. (warning - don’t sleep with friends kids!)
then„ my mum calls and wants to catch up next week.. and umm„ now i’m going to dinner with her and her partner TONIGHT. AND she’s wanting to give me $100 bucks towards my kevlar jeans for my bike!? (just cos..) wtf!?
geez. talk about been thrown off balance a lil…
are you gonna call next? ha„ got buckleys on that!
“I loved her style, i loved her face, i loved her genuinely caring grace
I loved her voice, I loved her views, I even loved her tattoos
I loved where she came from and i loved where i could see she was going to
I loved the thought of standing next to her shoes
I loved having something to say, i could love again
Instead of all the typical hatred of fools
Yeah she was more than staunch
Yeah she had more balls
But that was kinda appealing coming from you
Everything i loved - bar the misunderstandings„,
And misunderstandings are meant to be gotten through?
So i guess there goes that chance of falling, or playing, or even getting screwed…”—lahlia
The first time i may of been actually proud
Look oh so high up at them„ not at all down
And that’s not just coming from the physical low ground
Just how i watched you, gazed over as you spoke so profound
You may of misjudged me, but i misjudged you just as easily..
“Now i’m fucking pissed, what is this shit?
I saw more perks than your quirks and your tits„,
And talk about quirks„, you’re a fucking jerk
No wait, you’re not a mole„ you’re just a bitch.
Perfect was wishful thinking and wishful thinking realities, really don’t exist.”—lahlia
“i’d love to know if you can find
ANY heart bigger than mine…
give it a try„, it might take you some time…
you know this could be true
you know it coulda been all for you
i had already done so much for you
and while there was no gun to my back,
while there was no agenda hidden under cracks
you thought you had an idea„ and i thought there was no fear„
just how wrong we can be my dear?”—lahlia
i get skinnier„ everyone around me gets fatter… there’s always some kinda balance so can you cunts all get sad so i can be happy again?
what? what, what, what is so wrong? like you have the audacity to judge? no reason„ no knowledge„ nothing uncommon you say, they say, they all say amazing but when it comes down to it… you’re all just too damn afraid of it
it may of been something wanted… but it’s not needed now
“I have no collar to go around your neck
And there is no leash to pull you back a step
I just wanted to walk beside you
But it’s like you were rabid and had to keep pulling
You would never realize your own doings
I see you snarling at me
But you don’t feel it cos it’s also your instinct”—lahlia
“You don’t think you’re forceful in your actions?
It has no contribution to the reaction or the distractions
We had no hold without that interaction anyway
But what we did have was shamefully on display”—lahlia
“There’s something in the cosmos that brought you to me
There’s a shift in dynamics and mentalities
But whatever this is i’m challenged and quite like it
But best we learn real quick not to bite it
It seems what could come from this is simply us more heightened?”—lahlia
“Let me just say i’m gonna like having you in my life
Any form of inspiration and teaching of any kind
One fucking step at a time
But you„, you„ you … have blown my freaking mind
Just like portishead that night
You are fucking devine.”—lahlia
i have ten minutes to get from 2nd row PJ Harvey at Regent Theatre in Melbourne CBD when she finishes at 10pm „, to the Corner Hotel in Richmond„ hopefully by cab„, to see tUnE-yArDs when she starts at 10.10.